POW #7

The book I am reading is titled Gears of War: Aspho Fields. It is a prequel to the popular video game series. The rating system I have created is called the Cog scale. When something is rated on the Cog scale it is rated from one to five Lancers. A Lancer is the main firearm amongst the characters in Gears of War. Cog stands for Coalition of Ordered Governments which is the form of government in the Gears universe. I would give the book five Lancers so far because I love Gears and there is a lot of action, deep storytelling, and is provides and accurate representation of the event prior to Gears of War one. The image I chose is the Gears of War Omen emblem. This is the logo for everything Gears. When you see the Omen you should immediately think "Gears." I would like to know where Bernie came from. She just popped up out of the blue and I would like some detail as to what her journey was like and how she made it back to Delta squad. Also, I would like to see more of Dom's emotions. This book is about the time when his brother Carlos died and I know it was very traumatic for him. Also his wife has been missing for some time now so I just want to know how he his feeling. "Hey don't talk about Baird like that. He's sensitive, bein' blond and all." Augustus 'Cole Train' Cole said this in an attempt to tease Baird right after they found Bernie. This is significant because they have been fighting the Locust for so long that they are used to it and can even find humor every now and then. They are trying to keep themselves sane because fighting is all they have left. I have enjoyed this book so far and I am looking forward to finishing it.

POW #6

We have lost our beloved and most adored member. The town Oklahoma fan was tragically killed when he drank too much beer and his wife which happened to be his third cousin accidently blew up their trailer. We really could go on without him but every town needs the fair weathered, trailer trash, OU fan. To do this job you need to have half of your teeth, be married to your cousin, live in a trailer, have no more than a high school education, and be drunk all the time. We need someone to fill this position quickly so we can find someone to hate. The compensation is you get to pretend like you matter and you will be part of an organization of t-shirt OU fans that consider themselves part of a fanbase. Also you can only be aware of one sport, and that is football. Everything you do has to be involved with OU football. Also you have to yell "BOOMER SOONER," every ten seconds, regardless of the situation. You have to make people hate you as much as possible and you need to pretend that you are the absolute greatest person in the world. If you are interested then just move on in to the trailer park and we will try you out.

POW #5

I'm not a big animal guy but I did have a fish one time and it was easily my favorite. Of course it only lived for twenty-four hours in my house but it was still pretty cool. Well I actually have a really funny story about the dog we have now. It was Halloween a few years ago and some small child rang the door bell asking for candy, so my father went to answer it. We had ordered pizza that night and my father left his plate unattended and my dog jumped up to get it. Little did my dog know, there was a burning candle and he jumped right into the candle and lit himself on fire, he then jumped down and the fire was put out by the wind. The entire house smelled like burnt hair the rest of the night. If I could have any animal in the world, I would choose a terrapin in a heartbeat. If you do not know, a terrapin is a kind of turtle. It looks like a dinosaur. There are a couple of reasons as to why I want a terrapin. Like I said earlier, it looks like a dinosaur. Also, I'm a fan of the Maryland Terrapins so that is another major reason. I can put up with animals but I most certainly do not like them.  

AOW #1

I am here on behalf of this fine young womans status in school. You have wrongfully kicked her out and have permanently altered her life. You did not provide sufficient information to her so that she would know not to post those pictures. My client asked about this exact topic and the answer she was given was that it was ok. While it was a mistake, she is a young female in her prime and she is bound to make mistakes and she hes apologized for her actions. When my client was contacted by one of your employees she immediately removed the picture and asked if she would be in trouble. Your employee promptly responded with "no." It's not like she is desecrating it or making fun of it. She merely took a picture. You had no right to expel her and you must reinstate her immediately. I thank you for your time and I hope you make the right decision.

POW #4 This is also late but I was told I would receive credit.

While I feel my previous posts have been exemplary, I am not so confident about this one but I am going to try. I have decided to construct a conversation between these two fine gentleman.

Caesar: Brutus, my wife is being difficult right now.
Brutus: Is that so? Mine is as well!
Caesar: She claims that I am cheating on her with the dutchess of Narnia.
Brutus: Well you did sleep with her did you not?
Caesar: Well, yes of course, how could I say no? But that is not the point. How can she possibly know? Also who is she to question the almighty Caesar? It is quite unsettling to know that she thinks she can say whatever she wants to me.
Brutus: You sound like you are in quite a pickle, oh wise one. My wife is upset with me because she thinks that I do not like her anymore and I am ignoring her on purpose.
Caesar: Now why would she think that? You are a good man and you treat her well.
Brutus: I am so caught up in my work right now, that I am refraining from eating, sleeping, and talking. I told her I was sick but she did not believe me.
Ceasar: Noble Brutus, what work is it that troubles you so?
Brutus: Sometimes I just want to punch her right in her face!
Caesar: I feel the same way about mine!
Brutus: Well what do you plan to do about it.
Caesar: I am just going to let her dwell on it and she will get over herself eventually.
Brutus: Wow you are a horrible person.
Caesar: Why have you insulted me? I never did anything to you!
Brutus: I am going to try and make things better with my wife but you obviously just do not care about yours.
Caesar: I ought to have you executed for such blasphemy!
Brutus: Ah but the joke is on you dumb Caesar. My work I have been so invested in, is plotting your murder with the rest of the senate.
Caesar: You are quite the jokester but can we please stay on topic here? Sometimes I just want to send my wife into another dimension so I can be with the Dutchess of Narnia.
Brutus: I sometimes want to do away with my wife as well. I believe we have similar problems and feel the same way about them.
Caesar: I love my wife but sometimes she just makes me want light myself on fire.
Brutus: That is slightly disturbing but I will let it slide. I must go now for I need to return to my master.
Caesar: Your master?
Brutus: My wife!
Caesar: Badum Tsh! Zing! Fantastic joke Brutus.
Brutus: Ok fine Caesar I will see you on the morrow at the senate meeting?
Ceasar: Indeed noble one, may Zeus be with you!

POW #3 No surprise here, this is also late

So I was sitting here watching SpongeBob SquarePants on Nickelodeon and Spongebob and Patrick stole a balloon and are now at large criminals. I was completely invested in this episode when it suddenly broke to commerical which sent me into a rage of fury that I unleashed upon my ham sandwich that I had crafted for myself not fifteen minutes prior. After I had calmed myself down, I brought my gaze back upon the television and there was a Cheez-It commercial on. They had one roll of Cheese that made a joke, one that kept interrupting the poor doctor analyzing it, and one that told the tale of how he invested in his 401k. I thought that they used propaganda in this commercial because they claimed to let their cheese "mature," which is physically not possible. They are obviously trying to trick people into thinking that their cheese is somehow better than say, Cheeto's cheese. Which I personally disagree with. Cheeto's are delicious. But back to the topic, I do not believe them because for starters cheese can not talk so how do they know when it is mature? Second, what makes their cheese any better than the competitors? Finally, they said that "real cheese matters," I can guarantee that they do not use 100 percent cheese in their product. There has to be some kind of artificial flavoring in there because real cheese would be too expensive. Think of all the cows they would have to buy! All in all I would have to say that this is a poorly constructed commercial and a pathetic attempt at imposing their cheese propaganda on the world.

POW #2 This is late as well

This is the picture I chose to do this particular post on. I am just hanging out with my dear friend here Ronald McDonald outside the Ronald McDonald house in Chicago. I don't know if you are aware of my previous health complications and I am not going to go into detail about it in public. If you don't know and you wish to know then you know how to contact me and I will reveal my deepest darkest secrets. But seriously I will tell you what I am talking about. I like this picture because it is about two days after my surgery and it was the first step of my recovery. I also like it because it's not every day that you get to take a picture with Ronald McDonald. I know for a fact that if this was someone else sitting with Mr. McDonald I would be pretty jealous. It was very cold that day and I am dressed appropriately. I was released from the hospital the day before and our choices were to stay in one of the many igloos that house all the eskimos in Chicago or stay at the Ronald McDonald house so we chose the latter. I'm not entirely sure what you want me to write about but I have given the background story and why it is significant to me. Scratch that last sentence, I just looked at the example you have graciously provided. My mom took this photo and it turned out amazing. I don't mean to toot my own horn here but I look really good. You can't even tell that I had major surgery not two days prior! This was really the beginning of a new life. The disease I had really ate away at me and almost sent me over the edge, but I persevered and have been given a second chance.  

POW #1: This is late

My name is Ryan Matthew Stafford. I'm pretty sure Ryan is an english name but I am not positive. Same goes for Matthew and I think that Stafford is Irish although I am not certain. There isn't really much history, but I could just have no idea what you are talking about. If you want to know who's incarnate I am, I have no idea. If you want to know who else has this name, I know for a fact that the year I was born, the guy that was the mascot Pistol Pete for Oklahoma State was named Ryan Stafford which is pretty ironic considering I am an Oklahoma State fan. My parents tell me that they gave me the name Ryan because they wanted it to be short and they did not want to give me a name I would be made fun of for. They have never given a reason for my middle name and I was given the name Stafford because that is the last name of both of my legal guardians which happen to be my biological parents. There aren't really any major advantages or disadvantages of my name. It is pretty neutral. There is a quarterback in the NFL named Matthew Stafford which is pretty cool. I don't really have an opinion on my name. I don't hate it nor love it,I just go along with it. I have been called a number of nicknames and I will list them all but not go into detail because I have some other stuff I need to get done. First I was Rhino for obvious reasons, then I was Cowboy, and now I go by Voteable or Votey Bear.